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Magician

The carnival director was interviewing a young man looking for his first job as a magician. “What’s your best trick?” the director asked. “Sawing a woman in half—that’s my best.”

“Isn’t that a difficult trick?” “Not really. I’ve been able to do that one since I was a child. I always used to practice on my sisters.”

“And do…

Mahatma Gandhi

In his autobiography, Mahatma Gandhi wrote that during his student days he read the Gospels seriously and considered converting to Christianity. He believed that in the teachings of Jesus he could find the solution to the caste system that was dividing the people of India.

So one Sunday he decided to attend services at a nearby church and talk to the minister about becoming a Christian. When he…

Mail Mush

Early missionaries to the Marshall Islands in the central Pacific received their mail once a year when the sailing boat made its rounds of the South Pacific. On one occasion the boat was one day ahead of schedule, and the missionaries were off on a neighboring island. The captain left the mail with the Marshallese people while he attended to matters of getting stores of water and provisions. At last…

Main Thing—Christ Preached

Let us be on our guard against this feeling. it is only too near the surface of all our hearts. Let us study to realize that liberal tolerant spirit which Jesus here recommends and be thankful for good works wheresoever and by whomsoever done. Let us beware of the slightest inclination to stop and check others merely because they do not choose to adopt our plans or work by our side. We may think our…

Maine Farmer

A canny Maine farmer was approached by a stranger one day and asked how much he thought his prize Jersey cow was worth. The farmer thought for a moment, looked the stranger over, then said: “Are you the tax assessor, or has she been killed by your car?”

Maintain Purpose in Life

Mr. Brown ran a sanatorium for rich women who had nothing much to do. They had been idle so long together that their nerves got the best of them. They fancied all sorts of things wrong with themselves as they grumbled about their aches and pains.

Brown and his wife were getting rich listening to them and babying them. Then one of the women made a few repairs on her old clothes which she gave to…

Major Needs

Major Needs of Women

1. Affection,

2. Conversation,

3. Honesty and openness,

4. support,

5. Family commitment.

Major Needs of Men

1. Sexual fulfillment,

2. Recreational companionship,

3. An attractive spouse,

4. Domestic support,

5. Admiration.

Major Needs

Five Major Needs of Women

1. Affection,

2. Conversation,

3. Honesty and openness,

4. Financial support,

5. Family commitment.

Five Major Needs of Men

1. Sexual fulfillment,

2. Recreational companionship,

3. An attractive spouse,

4. Domestic support,

5. Admiration.

Major Omission

His career as a private detective supplied novelist Dashiell Hammett with much of the material used in his books. On one occasion, the chief of police of a southern city sent Hammett a detailed description of a wanted man, even mentioning the mole on the man’s neck. The description omitted, however, the important fact that the culprit had only one arm!

Major or Minor Decisions

A husband and wife, prior to marriage, decided that he’d make all the major decisions and she the minor ones. After 20 years of marriage, he was asked how this arrangement had worked. “Great! in all these years I’ve never had to make a major decision.”

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